Friday at the Monastery

After finally waking up and getting ready, we had the normal course of Matins, Breakfast, an hour break and Eucharist.  Monastery life is really about establishing a routine and everything seems to fit in among the main activities of praying and eating. 

Our final session of the youth workers retreat was late morning where we had some sharing, some song and then said our goodbyes for another year.  Some of the youth workers have been doing this retreat for 5 years (it's only my second).

After Diurum (Noon) and Dinner (Noon meal) on Friday, the monastery goes on a period of transition as one group (the youth workers in our case) leave and other groups arrive.  Three familiar faces are staying on (besides the brothers), a couple from Brooklyn and a woman from mid-town Manhattan all on individual retreats.  My transition was to move, I had to relocated from the main house to the Middle House (between the guest house and the chapel).

I was pleasantly surprised that my new room is over the cloister and looks out onto the garden with the huge oak tree (which was here longer than the monastery).  I walked down the hall to check in on another room and excorcise some demons still there, and then settled in.

Shortly after Dinner I had my annual meeting with Br. Adam.  He has become a bit of a spiritual advisor to me as we chewed over some decision points in my life.  I shared with him some of my current concerns - mostly relating to my pending divorce - and he nicely helped me to find God in this mess for an hour.  He keeps a blog of his thinking here... http://adamsmonkthoughts.blogspot.com/

After the meeting and move, I had some free time so I hit the gift shop.  This is the religious literature and trinket lover's mecca of sorts.  Anything an Anglican could possibly want relating to faith is in there.  Brother Mark, one of the newer monks, was manning the shop this afternoon.

I choose a suitable volume and headed out for my favorite Adirondack chair...

After a bit of reading, life started picking up again as other groups arrived.  The same church groups from last year are here again... the women's group from St. Mary's in Brooklyn, a retreat group from St. George's in Hemstead, NY, and a retreat group from St. Peters in mid-town.  It's going to be a great weekend filled with God's love!

Br. Charles gave the weekend orientation...

Finally, after dinner I went back outside to improve my Monastery at Night photograph.  Yesterday's version didn't capture the warmth of the place, so I took my tripod for a longer exposure.  This is better but I'm hopeful that I can talk Br. Julian (also a photographer) to help me "paint the monastery with light" tomorrow evening.

Clear Skies! (For a short while...)

As I get older, I find that... well... "nature" calls me during the night and suddenly I'm awake.  This morning when that happened I took a quick look out my window and I saw STARS!  No, I didn't bump my head on the sprinkler pipe that hangs right over my desk, but the skies were actually clear for a little while.  So I set up a quick 5-minute exposure (involved taking out the tripod, cable release, etc.).  The picture above was not what resulted... that's the 3rd attempt.

It seems the river traffic is still active at 4:00 AM and mid-way through the first exposure a barge came strolling (OK, floating) into the scene ith yellow and green lights blazing. 

When the rising sun woke me up around 6:00, we still had beautiful clear skies and even had sun in our face on the porch before breakfast.  But during breakfast the clouds arrived.  (I didn't have my camera, can you believe that?)  Now there's just a little sunlight poking though the occasional gaps in the clouds.  It sounds like that may be the only bit of sun we get for a few more days.

Later this morning, we'll have the last session for the youth leaders retreat and they'll depart.  I just found out they have room over the weekend, so I'll stay on a bit for some individual retreat time. I'm working on scheduling another conversation with Br. Adam either this afternoon or tomorrow (see previous years about this).

The Great Silence

As I mentioned earlier, one aspect of monastery life is we all observe The Great Silence, from the end of Compline (around 8:50 PM) until 8:30 AM the next day - that includes breakfast.  The monastery guest house goes into a bit of a hibernation... people are quiet, we smile or nod at each othe as we pass in the hallways.  You can see people curled up on couches in little nooks and crannies reading.  This is when I write my last blog entries and then grab a bit of time to read myself.

Like many of their traditions, It's unusual to experience at first.  In our normal lives we seldomly get true silence... at my home I used to have a marine aquarium and until I recently got rid of that, there was always the sound of pumps, fans and motors keeping the fish alive.  Here at the monastery, crickets are noticable, and to me the sound of my typing on my laptop is loud.  Across the river, the train engine and whistle are very noticable. 

The silence provides space... space to think and read of course, but also space to commune with God and ponder the day's events. 

Make some space... try some silence.

Wednesday Evening

The storm was intense but brief and by the time we arrived back to the monastery late afternoon, we were soaked but the sun had started to briefly shine.  When I looked out my window, the Vanderbilt mansion across the river was lit, and there was a barge moving down the Hudson.  You realize that the river brings life to the area in many ways.

After supper, the youth leaders gathered in the chapel to share our final evening.  We presented works of art and told our stories.  I won't go into details here but everyone has an interesting story to tell... where we came from, where we are right now, and where we hope to go.

Allergies, while better, prevented me from staying for the whole thing (and from going to the Compline service).  I'm thinking I'm having trouble with something in the incense.  Today was a feast day so they burned incense at Vesper (5:00 PM) services, both yesterday and today.  At supper I spoke with Br. Bernard who said that they might be burning an incense mixture that uses a rose oil.  I've had problems with my allergies and rose fragrances in the past, so maybe that's part of it.  We'll see...

Field Trip

We wanted to get closer to the river, but with all the rain, it didn't make sense to go down to the river by the monastery because the field below was full of muck, so we decided to make a try for the Walkway Across the Hudson.  This is a footbridge built on an old frieght train trestle.  However, as we arrived, that was closing due to approaching storms.

You would think that a bunch of youth leaders would heed that warning and head back to the safety of the monastery.  You would be wrong.  We headed to the FDR bridge which is just a bit south.

Of course once there we decided to venture out on the footpath along that bridge...

We walked out to the first tower, where there was a sound installation of music composed totally with sounds the bridge makes.  So we listened to that for a while and captured a few pictures while there...

Of course, since we were all focusing on the installation and facing the tower, we failled to see the storm moving down the Hudson until it was right on top of us.  Perhaps the officals at the footbridge had some real knowledge.  As the storm came up, I decided that standing on a huge high hunk of steel was not the smartest thing to be doing in a thunderstorm, so we sprinted to the cars... but too late as we all got soaked.  Later we went down to the river level to see that it was already a bit high, with more sure to come.

Wednesday Morning

We woke up to another very rainy morning.  I didn't bother to photgraph out my window because it was all a blue grey downpour - nothing was visible.  After Matins, breakfast,and Eucharist we had another Lectio/Visio session with Br. Julian.  For both this and yesterday's sessions, he was using an item from http://www.seeingtheword.org/ which are meditations based on illuminations from the St. John's Bible.  Their website http://www.saintjohnsbible.org/ is also worth checking out.  Lots of information on this treasure (the first hand printed Bible that's been completely done since the invention of the printing press 500 years ago).



I made it to the Eucharist service today in the chapel.  This service is the only one that includes a sermon.  Today is the feast day of St. Michael and the Archangels.  Br. Andrew delivered the sermon and remarked that in his almost 50 years since ordination, he has never before preached a sermon on angels (I mean the winged creatures from heaven... not the corners of a triangle - I just realized spell check won't catch that one).  He called on Gabriel, Raphael, and the other archangels to come down and help us with their traditional tasks and then he said a line I hope I never forget.  He said...

"And if you by chance don't believe in angels, the for Christ's sake become one!" and urged us all to protect the innocent, heal the sick, announce the word of christ, and the like. 

Wow!

I'm used to a more "gee, perhaps you should think about this" type of sermon.

A busy Wednesday

I woke up this morning to a beautiful display of clouds right before sunrise, though I missed sunrise in order to attend Matins (Morning Prayer) at 7:00 AM.  Mornings at the monastery are quiet as we observe "The Great Silence" from the end of Compline at 8:30 PM until 8:30 AM.  It's always unusual to eat breakfast in silence while in the presence of other people (another of those monastery traditions that seems weird at first, but quickly gets quite comfortable).

Our theme for the youth worker's retreat is water... how it nourishes us, reflections on our baptism, and all those wonderful water thoughts relating to faith (we even have a little "altar top fountain" in the middle of the room).  This is good because it rained all day.  The bad thing about the rain is that this area doesn't really need any more water right now, having just survived a hurricane and tropical storm in quick succession.  That was the cause of a large problem for me because (those who know me will attest) I'm never too far from my blackberry (there's even a YouTube video of me playing guitar in a church rock band talent show thingy wearing that ever present blackberry).  I figured out how to get it silent enough so it makes no noise at the monastery... except for AccuWeather's warning tone.  Unfortunately they seeemed to feel that I needed to know of a local flood watch several times (luckily not once during worship) and announce each message with a loud long beeeeeeeeeep!

Worship is held several times each day in the monastery chapel.  This chapel is one of three "Thin Places" I've experienced first hand (the other two being Holy Island in England, and The Old Church in Middletown, NJ).  A thin place (my definition) is a place that is so layered with prayers from many people over time that you can just sense God's presence as you enter it.

I'll get better pictures of the chapel later, but the one above shows the layout for worship.  The monks sit in stalls facing each other and the congregation is in a small "nave" just behind them.  A bulk of most of the services is the monks chanting the psalms (they go through all the psalms every two weeks) back and forth to each other.  A given worship service might cover 3 or 4 whole psalms so it's significantly longer than what we do in our church on a Sunday morning.  Guests are welcome to chant quietly as well once we get the hang of it (which is happening quickly for me now that this is my third visit).

Now it's time for my confession... I skipped one service today (and missed most of another).  Something happened to me over the weekend on a drive back from PA and my allergies have been killing me.  Mid morning I just could not keep from coughing and decided to bag Eucharist for today.  Midway during Vespers (at 5:00 PM) i had to leave for a coughing fit.  So I went out to the cloister by a great tree where I could at least listen to parts of the remaining service.

I finally left the monastery grounds and drove up to the Port Ewen Pharmacy (on Br. Bernard's recommendation) a quaint little store that's still one of those "owned by pharmist" operations, where he patiently advised me on what I could add to my drug cocktail to keep from coughing too loudly during worship.  I hope it kicks in soon.

The youth workers retreat is great... I'm really surprised more don't show up.  There really is nothing else for Episcopal Youth Leaders out there.  This evening we shared our favorite resources.  Fran (with the guitar) lead a song he learned from a camp in AL.  I shared The Way Of Pilgrimage books we used for confirmation a year ago, and I got lots of other good ideas, some useful for the youth... others for the youthworker.

Earlier in the day Br. Julian lead us on a Lectio excercise (a Visio?) where we read and prayed through St. Mark's version of the parabell of the sower (Mark 4:1-9) using a resource from the St. John's Bible.  I never heard of this before but it's a newly hand copied and hand illuminated bible that was commissioned by St. John's Abbey in MN.  I'll have to check it out in the gift shop later this week.

As I said, it was an extremely busy Wednesday....

Settling in and meeting my companions

It always takes me a day or so to settle down once I get here. We get used to a certain pace in life and when that pace gets interrupted... well it's disconcerting.  Coming from industry where things are always "push, push, push" it's a bit of a task to readjust my time schedule to monastery life. 

For example, at vespers this evening, while I'm much more familiar with the layout of the service and know my way (a bit) around the black book we use, I found myself wishing the monks would just pick it up a bit.  When they're chanting the psalms, there's a long(er) pause at each half-verse.  This evening I found myself leaning in at each of these, wanting to get things moving.  It seemed unnatural to me (but of course perfectly natural to them).  Same once I met my fellow retreaters... Jennifer runs this as a bit of a contemplative retreat (why it's at a monastery, I guess) and the session is filled with lots of waiting for the Holy Spirit to move us (as well as time for us to hear God).  This time is incredibly important - and part of what I'm here for - but it still takes some getting used to.

I'm here with 20 or so youth workers from across the nation (I think the most distant one is from Texas) along with Jennifer (author of the My Faith, My Life book we all use) and Fran who is an incredible song leader.  I realized this evening that one thing I miss at my parish is singing.  We have great musicians in our church, but not too many people sing on a Sunday morning.

The monastery church has a bell tower and in it is a very stately church bell.  To me it sounds deeper than most and it has a rich, but varied ring (perhaps due to the skill of the bell ringer).  It rings a "drop everything and come pray" ring about 5 minutes before each worship time.  It rings a stately call to prayer at the start of worship, and tonight it rang a somber toll for a person (along with his victims and the families of both) who was to be executed tonight in TN

Arrived!

Holy Cross Monastery is on the upper Hudson river a bit north of Poughkeepsie, NY.  I arrived around 3:30 and unloaded and unpacked a bit.  My room this time is "St. Thomas" (they don't have room numbers... all the rooms are named for saints), which is on the 3rd floor overlooking the river.

The rooms are sparce - basically a bed, dresser, small desk, and of course a cross.  The monastery guest house is "heated but not air conditioned", so with the temperature at 80 with very high humidity, it's a bit close, but the weather is expected to break later today or tomorrow and then it will get quite pleasant.

I had just enough time to do a couple of blog entries, take a brief nap and then head to Vespers at 5:00.

New Jersey is part of God's creation... isn't it?

The drive up to the monastery first takes me through the "yellow" section of New Jersey.  That's the heavily populated section of the map that most people try to avoid... the Parkway, Turnpike and all that.  Today my drive was actually pleasant - well as pleasant as a drive up those two roads can be - as there was no traffic to note during the mid-day travel.

At first, I was anxious to get up to the Hudson Valley and get to God's creation.  Then I had the thought, "but NJ is part of God's creation... isn't it"?  Of course it is, and I started to ponder the beauty I was encountering, all the wonderful skyways and bridges and industrial areas.  Yes, these are technically creations of man, but who created us?  We do believe that God works through our hands and minds, so...

As I come out of NJ, I always take the extra effort to find the Pallisades Parkway.  As you travel that northbound from Fort Lee, NJ you can encounter some great scenic view areas and get your initial look at the Hudson River.  This photo was taken from the Rockafeller Outlook which is just north of the George Washington Bridge.  As you can tell it was very hazy, but even that shows God's beauty.

Heading back!

Less than one week from today, I start my third drive up the Hudson valley to return to the monastery for my fall vacation.  As I did last year, I'm attending the retreat for adults who work with youth, and if there's an opening, I'll stay for the following weekend.  Different from the last two visits, I'll stay for a retreat the following week as well (with a 2 night break as the guest house closes - so the monks can have a day of rest).

I'm especially looking forward to a time of retreat this year.  2011 has been an ordeal so far.  I'm dealing with a huge betrayal after 24 years... then realizing that my marriage was irretrievably gone, and now dealing with the uncertainties that entails.  I was hopeful that I'd know more about where life was taking me by this trip, but the legal system doesn't seem to allow that.  I'm getting a big lesson on letting go of things I can't control.

Youth groups have just started up, but with everything that's going on in life, I really don't feel like I have my "game on" yet, so getting away from things will be a blessing.